Wonderful Labs Nova Protocol

FATHER OF THE WONDER

“Because Buddy is an effeminate character, but he’s also ballsy, if that’s possible. He’s kind of like a Macho Queen. That’s how I see him… or an Alpha Fag?”

-Scott Thompson

Dear Mister Wonderwall,

Does the word “gringo” indeed originally come from all those cowboys compulsively singing “Green Grow the Lilacs” along the Mexican border? Or is it something else entirely? Thanks, dude.

—Tex Ritter

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Dear Mister Wonderful,

So, what about Kazakhstan, anyway??

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Where’s my Tuf Voyaging series?

Dear Mister Wonderful,

—Quinacridone Rose, or Permanent Magenta?

Thanks,

—A. Gentileschi

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But really, did you ever think the 13 Days of Wonder were meant to flow smoothly? We are messy and disappointing, because life is messy and disappointing and also because, what are you gonna do?

Dear Mister Wonderful,

I am friends with a number of designers and feel obliged to go backstage after their shows to say hello. But if it’s a bad collection, I never know what to say. I feel like a phony if I offer congratulations, but it seems uncharitable to tell the truth. What’s the best approach in this situation?

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Dear Mister Wonderful,

My wife likes the idea of the bizarre pie fetish fucking.

Explain.

-Richard Dawson

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Dear Mister Wonderful,

Sketch Comedy Porn.
[URL Redacted]
Explain.

-Richard Dawson

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Dear Mister Wonderful,

You’ve been gone along time. Where’d you go?

-Lois

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